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Ten Commandments for the Married Woman
1 Peter 3 and Pro 31
Preached by Dr. Vander Warner, Jr. at Poplar Springs in Dublin, GA.
March 2005
I Thou shalt be a woman whose God is the Lord.
(Thou shalt have no other Gods before thee…)
1. Not the God of self, money, success, children.
2. Your children need to see substantial evidence its so.
They need to hear you pray – see your worship.
Remember Paul’s faith was derived from “thy grandmother Lois and thy mother Eunice…”
*My Mother and her grandson Michael (who as an 8 year old wanted to pray with her.)
II Thou shalt behave so as to win thy husband to the Lordship of Christ.
1. You may never talk him into it. (1Pet.3:1, 2)
BUT once you’ve made it clear don’t nag
In Augustine’s Confessions there is a passage about his mother Monica: “When she came to marriageable age, she was bestowed upon a husband and served him as her Lord, and she did all she could to win him to thee, speaking to him of thee by her deportment, whereby thou madest her beautiful and reverently lovable and admirable to her husband….Finally when her husband was now at the very end of his earthly life she won him unto thee.”
So don’t give up and don’t quit.
III Thou shalt honor the husband the Lord thy God giveth thee.
i.e. “highly esteem (1Pet 3:6 and Eph. 5:33)
1. Treat him with honor perhaps he’ll act honorably.
Resist the office chatter of unfulfilled carnal women.
You’ll get talked into their thinking patterns.
I doubt you are going to call him Lord, and mean it…..but when he is down give him a list of reasons you really think highly of him.
**Number one fan….My youngest daughter told me the reason I didn’t get much joy out of traveling here and there was because after the death of her mom…..”Your number one fan is gone!>”
IV Thou shalt submit thyself to all the (Godly) leadership thy husband provideth thee.
Ephes. 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
1. Lesson number 1 is that this is done for Jesus sake also.
“Submission” essentiality means “Fitting in”.
2. Husbands are you asking her to submit to God’s will
3. Rebellion in children can often be explained right here.
Finest thing a dad can do for his kids is love their mom…..And for mom, maybe honor and esteem their dad.
PS. He can’t go to a seminar in relationships and come home a perfectly mature husband.SO: Fit in to the leadership he provides maybe he’ll present more.
V Thou shalt give no occasion for thy husband to distrust thee. (1Pe 3:2)
1. You don’t need to make him jealous he already is.
Positive jealousy is an important component in the 1 to 1 relationship of
Marriage. Positive jealously that says “’’’and forsaking all others keep
thyself wholly unto him so long as you both shall live…”
2. Be very wary of easy familiar, relationships at work. Quiet, regular little delightful luncheons with the boss or the guys….You’ll get in trouble comparing them at work at their best with your dear old, dog tired clod at home whose 5 day deodorant pad is now 6 days old…
VI Thou shalt beautify thyself both inwardly and outwardly (1Pe 3:3,4)
Your attractiveness is very important to him.
1. No amount of exterior paint can long hide inner corruption. BUT
A good paint job never hurts anything.
It is appropriate for you to want to look your best. (Mom and Winnie)
Do the best you can with what you have as long as you can!
Continue to grow and learn, strengthening the inner self.
VII Thou shalt not allow thy house to become a pig sty. (Pro 31:27)
“Looks well to the ways of her household…”
Oh, and if you’ve been wondering why he acts like a pig…well maybe here is the answer.
1. The environment affects the emotional
2. Don’t make your children nervous by over-protecting the furniture. BETTER to have nervous furniture than nervous children….YET some places can/should be off limits.
VIII Thou shalt not fret thy husband needlessly. (Pro. 31:12)
“She does him good…”
1. Don’t run the vacuum cleaner during the NCAA tournament.
2. Give him unwinding room….You think he’s home when he’s home.!!
IX Thou shalt minister to thy husband’s physical, spiritual, and emotional needs. (1Pe 3:9)
“Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.”
You are God’s provision for his companionship and spiritual development…His chief encourager. 1. God is doing through you something He will do through no other…**Wives are not silent partners!
2. Be the woman in his life….not one of the boys to drink with, cuss with, etc.
X Thou shalt be of a meek and quiet spirit for the sake of your family.
1 Peter 3:4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price
“Meek” easily led in the right direction!.
1. You are the first model of behavior your children have.
“Social workers are finding that generally ‘problem’ children are the products of husbands and wives who are themselves problems – problems to one another. Divided, quarrelling, demanding husbands and wives are turning loose upon society a spate of neurotic children.
Boys and girls who have seen no consistently maintained example of mutual affection and Christlike self discipline in the lives of their parents are not likely to mature in to persons of balance, useful alike to the world and to the kingdom of God.”
SO: Believing women:
1. We need you to be deeply dedicated to the qualities of Godly womanhood according to Holy Scripture.
